A New Ending

I Danielle Kristine Fry am graduating from college this Saturday.  If you think you can't believe it, imagine how I must feel.  I woke up a little over a week ago and everything kind of hit me like a freight train.  I am really scared.  I don't want the big scary life yet.  I want to feel secure, safe, and calm about everything that is going on in my life.  I now know what the big deal about growing up is, and why people warn you to stay little.  I assure you if I had any way of doing that I would have done it.  As I sat in my bed thinking about how much money I would have to make in a month to be able to not only sustain myself but also a dog (Yes I got a puppy.  She is a mini sausage and her name is Blair) I began to panic.  Not a little.  A LOT.  So much, in fact, that my roommate came into my room to find me hiding under my blanket for no apparent reason.  All she knew was I was choosing to hide like a 3 year old.  

I have quite possibly picked the hardest and most unstable profession in the entire world.  I sure know how to pick em don't I?  Then I thought about why I chose this joke of a profession and I went, "Oh Yeah.  Because I love it."  Yes ladies and gentlemen that is my big excuse for having no degree to fall back on.  I'm not the only one who knows it either.  I love it when a local at Starbucks asks what you do for a living and you answer almost embarrassed because you know what is coming, "I'm an actor."  I'm not surprised when they burst into laughter.  One even said, "Yeah so is the guy behind the counter."  I cringed outwardly on that one.  

I have been dreading this day for a couple of weeks now, and while it comes with getting away from some of the classmates that leave something to be desired, it also leaves me with no way to pay the rent.  The obvious answer.  GET A JOB DANNI.  Easier said than done.  Oh sure Hooters will higher me, but the local Forever 21?  Nope!  I feel as if I am doomed to failure.  I have no credentials to work somewhere fancy, and if I take the Hooters job I become a whore in the eyes of all who care about me.  I ask you, What's a young girl to do???  Sure I have an agent and all that jazz but how am I supposed to pay for the pictures that need to be printed, and the postage for mailings?  I am at a loss.

While I look at this new dilemma as a challenge and a new adventure, I can't help but wonder at how some people do it.  I am scared to watch the next chapter of my life unfold.  Can I make it in the business or will I be the one to be back home in May?  I don't want to be a failure.  I want to achieve everything I've ever wanted, but when I look at the odds it almost seems easier to just go home now.  So as I await D-day shaking in my boots, I hope the cards play out in my favor.  And instead of the same old ending to the same old story, I hope mine is a good one with a new ending.